Everyone wants to be a better person. That is completely natural. As a result many people take to self help, spirituality and natural therapies to achieve this goal. Which is logical. What is not logical is that very few people ask the most important question of all –  “When will I be finished ‘self-helping’ myself?”

After all, the point of doing all this inner work and self development is to achieve a result and live with the rewards… right?

While self helps offers a path to a better self and promises a better lifestyle, you need to be sober about the process. It is so easy to forget what it is all about and step on the treadmill of ‘forever working on yourself’ and forgetting to step off! And thus creating another problem, the problem of ‘self help addiction’.

The source of the problem is twofold – (1) poor / faulty self image and (2) the fact that the mind has no walls.

When you step back and look at it, there is nothing to stop you from roaming endlessly inside your own mind in a never-ending quest of soul searching, refinement and fulfilment. It is the very spaciousness ( and false freedom ) of the mind that traps a lot of people in an endless cycle of ‘self help’, soul searching and a fruitless searching for lasting peace, happiness and security. Driven on with no hope of rest.

All of which is motivated by a faulty self image that says they need to ‘change themselves’. Well, I’m here to tell you, life does the changing and sets the agenda of what to change and when. Not you! You don’t know how to unfold, what the priority is nor what will happen in 5 minutes from now so quit acting like you do. Face it, you’re a blind person looking for peace, freedom and happiness.

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Are You Addicted to Self Help?

Out of any other problem, ‘self help addiction’ is the number 1 problem I ‘treat’ in my clinic. And when you really think about it, the problem caused by self help and it’s promises is insidious. Self help, when done blindly, can be a source of great personal pain. When you’re sober, great results can be achieved in quick time, right now.

Some Symptoms of Self Help Addiction…

  • You blame your past for the source of your current problems. While ignoring that the past no longer exists and is kept alive in your current thinking.
  • You look to others for advice, coaching or direction. You look to the stars, Tarot cards or externals to replace your role as leader.
  • You can’t imagine stopping your self help program. You imagine your life would fall apart if you didn’t attend to your spiritual or inner health practices.
  • You have no idea what lasting peace, lasting happiness or lasting security is. You are addicted to ‘sugary’, momentary highs and seek these instead of lasting results.
  • You believe you need ‘*healing’ and use this ‘broken model of yourself’ as a core concept to live by. *Click the link and read about a healthier approach to your inner work and self expression.
  • You believe that life is a ‘journey’ and not an experience. That you need to ‘go somewhere’ to experience a higher form of living.
  • You follow the dictates of your *self image. It motivates you to ‘heal’ yourself, do your self help work and change who you are based upon a faulty perception of yourself. *Watch the video. It will show you the root problem is not your past… it is your current self image.

These are just some of the signs and symptoms of Self Help Addiction. They key to them all is the idea that ‘you’re not okay just as you are’.

We talk over our divinity with nonsense and low self regard. And I’m here to change all that.

What is a Spiritual ‘Pep Talk’?

A Spiritual ‘Pep Talk’ is a polite way of saying that you’ve done way too much self help and need a good talking to. The aim of these private consultations is to clear away the clutter out of your mind, prioritise what’s important to you and get you living life.

Pep talks range from planning your escape from ‘self help’ right through to business consulting and ‘big picture’ project management.

Some examples…

  • I may encourage you to sit still and do no more work while your self image and personal illusions fall away.
  • I may encourage you to do less self help and set limits on how much inner work you do. And encourage you to ‘fill out’ with more living your life and being yourself, as you are.
  • I may ask you about your plans and then set firm dates for them on an actual calendar. And measure your spiritual progress using actual real-world projects.
  • I may put you on a ‘mental diet’ and shed some of the excess ideas, plans, goals and other junk that gets in the way of your paying attention to the present moment. This includes ‘spiritual head talk’ and other gibberish that does not relate to your current situation.
  • I may ( re: will ) curb your addiction to self help books, workshops and behaviours fed by the belief that you are inadequate.
  • I may ( read: definitely will ) curb your habit of throwing divination cards and get you to make your own darn decisions and live with the consequences of them.
  • I will give you homework. And I expect it done.

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One of the key ingredients to these ‘fireside chats’ is that we look at your plans, dreams and goals and pin the most relevant to a calendar. By extracting ‘your best ideas’ from the whirlpool of thoughts you have going on and setting firm dates to complete them, your energy is redirected ( from your illusions ), freed up and direct towards something real and fruitful. And spent on ‘the good things in life’.

In fact, I can pretty much guarantee that your ‘self help work’ is the very thing getting in the way of your dreams. The reason I know this is simple – the more time you spend ‘soul searching’, the less time you have to live the life you dream of.


All jokes aside. The inability to end the cycle of self help is a real problem for a lot of people. In my time I have seen people adopt some very unhealthy ( and unnatural-to-them ) behaviours in the name of ‘bettering myself’.

As there is no clear marker that ends the process or line to tell you when you are stepping into an unhealthy lifestyle, ‘self help’ can be destructive.

  • Many people I see live in a state of ‘existential anxiety’.
  • They can’t find the end to their journey or lasting solutions to their problems… but they can’t bring themselves to stop looking and striving for them either.
  • The ‘end’ that they are seeking is always projected ‘further down the road’.
  • Their own mind is the source of the problem. The very thing that motivates they use to do their self help with.
  • We can easily get stuck in a repeat cycle that says ‘there’s more work to do’ and overlook the possibility that life will ‘iron out’ your issues; naturally. If you simply live your life.

When you realize that ‘self help’ and inner work are an endless pursuit… and you can’t stop yourself… but are fed up with it all, that is the time to contact me for a ‘pep talk’.

P.s. If you think that these talks will feed your addiction and be yet another ‘self help exercise’, you may be in for a rude surprise. 😉

BOOK A ‘PEP TALK‘ via Skype

  • The purpose of any medicine or therapy is to rise above its need. The purpose of the health practitioner is to guide you there.

    Brendan Rohan

  • Brendan's approach to drawing on your inner qualities and bringing them to surface is certainly an art that he has mastered.

    Connie Mah

  • The insight Brendan shares is life-changing, ego remaking, world-first stuff. The practice is simple... the effect is astonishing. Life long advocate.

    Rebecca Ryan

  • Thanks Brendan for the lessons in flower essence therapy. They really compliment my studies and add to my Kinesiology work.

    David More

  • Brendan has changed my life profoundly and his approach is honest, real & raw. He sees through facades & gets to the heart of the matter to inspire understanding, change & acceptance of self at a soul level. Truly blessed.

    Tatiana Stoianovski